Today has not turned out the way that we wanted it to. Yesterday Kate had an MRI to check to see if Frogger had any bleeding on the brain. This morning they revealed to us that it was not good. Both ventricles in the brain had significant bleeding and there looks to be serious brain damage in most parts of the brain and possibly in the brainstem too.
They aren't really sure what caused it. The baby was stable in surgery; the baby was stable during Kate's heart palpitation...their best guess is that its an adjustment issue. Frogger had a giant tumor that she was used to supplying blood to. It was removed and trying to figure out how to respond put a strain on her. And that may have cause the bleeding.
There's nothing they can do to fix this. They have told us what our options are. We can:
1. Have the baby early. There is barely any chance that she would be able to breathe on her own. So we could hold her and let her go. Or hook her to a machine and try and keep her alive.
2. Wait a few more weeks to have the baby. By waiting, the baby might be able to breathe, eat, and manage her heart. The chances are slim there but they are better than having the baby early. Even if she could do all those things though, they have no idea what the brain damage has or hasn't caused. It seems very significant and likely that she won't have much function...but they won't know until then.
I can't describe to you how tough this day has been. Kate and I have currently decided to go with option 2. We want to give her a chance to do it on her own. If she can't...then we will let her go. If she can, we will deal with any brain challenges that come our way. We want her to be able to function without tubes and machines.
We are kinda numb right now. It's very tough to pray for something so hard for this long and make it this far...to have this result. But...God is still good. And He can still perform a miracle if He wants. And if He doesn't...He obviously has a plan.
And if you haven't noticed yet from my writing...we are having a girl. We accidentally found out through an MRI report we read back when we were at OSU. We kept it secret from everyone until today. Her name is Hadassah Marie. Hadassah, if you remember, is the young queen who stands up to a king who is about to destroy the Jews. You might know her better by her other name, Esther. Our Haddie has most certainly been courageous.
We ask for your prayers. We know this is not looking good for us. We know God can do amazing things if He so wants to. Hadassah is in a win/win situation. It's amazing to me how much you can love someone you've only seen tiny pictures of. She's perfect. She's beautiful. And all we want to do is meet her and take her home.
They most likely will let us go back to New Jersey for the next 5 weeks and we will see what happens. God bless and we love you all.
tears.....and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThis is heart breaking to read. I had a similar experience and you are glorifying God and allowing Him to lead you. Your Haddie has already had us all spending more time with the Father in prayer, loving our families and counting our blessings. That is such an amazing thing for such a little girl! I will continue to pray
ReplyDeleteLove you guys! I can't fathom the rollercoaster of emotions you are going through. Haddie truly is an amazing gal already. Prayers continue!
ReplyDeleteYou both have been so strong on this long, amazing journey. I cannot fathom the heartache you are feeling tonight. I know how the rest of us walking this path with you have felt and it doesn't come close to the emotions you are living with. My heart dropped when I started reading, but I am so moved by your deep and abiding faith. Our prayers will certainly continue. God's will be done. Haddie has a loving heavenly Father watching over her and he has his arms wrapped around both of you as well. We are here for you - always. Sending love and prayers to all three of you.
ReplyDeleteSo sad to see this. Praying hard for a miracle for your little one and comfort for you and your wife.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing testimony you share... I am in tears and can't see to type but I can tell you that I will continue to pray for a MIRACLE ... A HUGE MIRACLE... because we KNOW that God IS still in the MIRACLE business... and as you so wisely said, He has a plan.. we may never understand it but I can tell you that it makes me even more thankful to know that such a wonderful young couple with this kind of faith has been teaching my grandson.. what a BLESSING you guys have been.. so let us pray for you and continue to love you thru it.. Father God.. this MOMENT.. as we come before You tearfully and fearfully, I pray that you HEAL Haddie.. that you make her perfect.. perfect as you would have her be... we know Lord God that YOU have prepared these parents PERFECTLY for whatever the outcome is.. we also know that you did not CAUSE this.. but we are so very, very, very BLESSED TO KNOW YOU ARE HERE AMONG IT.. holding the hands of those who love her.. and that you always will be..I give you thanks for that Father God. I give you thanks for their Faith and their trust in you.. I give you thanks for those who care for them. I give you thanks for the gift of this baby.. and their strength to give her a chance .. but most of all oh great Physician, I give you thanks for Your SON, in whose name I pray.. in the name of the Christ, our Savior, in the Name of Jesus.. Amen...
ReplyDeletePraising God through this storm... knowing He can do the unimaginable... God have mercy! God give Your grace! God, let there be healing in Haddie's brain! We give You the glory!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I've been following your story because we have friends in common. My husband and I attend church at Waverly Church of Christ. You all are in our prayers. As a mother myself, and as a person who has lost 2 children due to miscarriage, I know what it is to want something so much and have it taken away. Your faith and trust that God has a plan are encouraging. Don't give up hope. I know families personally who were told their child wouldn't make it and they have their little blessings with them today. As you said, she is in a win/win situation, but my prayer for you is that God gives you a chance to raise this little girl.
ReplyDeleteTravis & Kate, I have been following your blog for the last several weeks praying for you and Haddie. Your example of faith has been so inspiring. I can't imagine the emotions you are feeling. All three of you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteTears and prayers...you are all three amazing...loved by God and I feel such admiration for you - you are such precious witnesses of your faith, trust and love for God! Continue to feel our Father's loving protection whatever the outcome - she will be a precious angel in your hearts no matter what God's plan is for her - I lift your sweet family up to HIM as He blesses you in these uncertain times...may you feel His continued prescence, peace and strength as He carries you through this - with love, Tina Broyles
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me (I learned about your blog from my mother, who attends the Pitman Road church), but I am so very very sorry to hear this painful news. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling right now, but please know that you are in my prayers, and so is your precious daughter. May God give you peace and wisdom as you try to navigate the decisions you have ahead of you.
ReplyDeleteDear ones, may you be hidden away in the folds of His garment while you continue to pray and trust and love. We will pray and trust and love alongside of you.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you and your little love... for strength, comfort, peace, hope.... Hadassah/Haddie is a beautiful name.
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord comfort you as only He can, dear friends. Your deep love for your daughter is surpassed only by His. May God's amazing love hold you at this time. We are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers are with all of you! Keep your head up and try to stay strong!
ReplyDeletePraying that you will remain strong in your conviction that God is God and will perform miracles in your sweet baby girl's life. Praying that you will return to praying and seeking God for all of your needs through this situation. Praying that you will continue to claim scripture's promises that your sweet baby girl will be healed. Knowing that God, the Great Healer, has plans and a future that is beyond our comprehension will in fact provide for sweet baby girl, her mama and papa the miracles that they are respectfully seeking. Holy God, YOU alone are God, YOU alone know the future, I ask that You provide Your much needed peace for Travis and Kate as they continue on this path that they find themselves on. May they rest in Your strength, may they release their fears and confusion to You, may they return to their complete faith that You are taking care of sweet baby girl .... as we continue to pray without ceasing for you Travis and Kate, please rest in God, release and let God fight this battle for You....
ReplyDeletePraying that God works everything out for all of you.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and Haddie. In my line of work, I've seen the kiddos born with part of a brain, brain damage, and many other issues - they are alive and being loved by their families. I've seen the kiddos who were not suppose to make it, but did. I've seen the kiddos who aren't suppose to talk or walk, but are. God is good and God is in control. At times it really doesn't seem like it, but that is because of our imperfect world. We don't always understand Gods ways, but we trust he's there and guiding the situations. I pray that it is Gods plan that you get to bring Haddie home to love and enjoy life together. I pray for Gods guidance, healing, and peace. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is crying for you. Saying lots of prayers!
ReplyDeleteIt's all in God's hands and in God's time..........Love you both. You are in my prayers.......Shawna
ReplyDeletePrayers to you and the famliy
ReplyDeleteOur prayers are with you all! Your faith is awe inspiring! Lay it all at God's feet.
ReplyDeleteFor this child we pray...
ReplyDeleteI'm a friend of a friend, but I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for these difficult decisions you're being forced to make. I lost my daughter at just over 25 weeks after making one of those difficult decisions, so I have some understanding of where you guys are at. I will be praying so very hard that God works one of his many miracles on your baby girl. No parent should ever have to go through this.
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