10 Years Old

 It’s interesting to me how we attach significance to a certain number of years. 1 year. 5 years. 10 years. 9 years is only one less than 10 yet 10 seems to be so much more than 9. It’s a decade. It’s a chapter in our lives. 

Maybe that’s why today seems to be a little bit heavier and more significant than yesterday. 10 years ago, on this day, Hadassah Marie Williams was born. That wasn’t supposed to be her birthday, at least, not in our minds. But God decided it was the right time. We woke up and ate our breakfast trying to have a normal morning and by the time dinner rolled around we had a 2lb 7oz baby girl fighting for life in the NICU. We had no idea that May 10th would be a day we would mark on the calendar for the rest of our lives. 

Those next 4 months moved slower than any months I’ve ever experienced in my life. The following year felt like a CD that keeps skipping (you 90s kids will understand that reference). One shunt malfunction after the next…fighting for normalcy. The next couple years were sweet yet challenging. Seeing Haddie sample various seizure meds, constant therapies in and out of the home, and us wondering what she knew. Yet a bit more normal. And then she turned 4. And it’s like the light switch turned on. We realized she was there. She was learning and growing. And she proved it to us. We began to dream and wonder what she could do in the next 5 years. And we still wonder that. She was learning to speak, she was learning to move, she was learning to live. 

She was. 

Much in the way she came is the way that she left…unexpectedly. And time rolls on. 

1 year turned into 5. And today our Haddie is 10. 

And while we are a little sad that she won’t be at her party in person tonight, we will still celebrate. Family, friends, food, fun. Things she would enjoy. 

And I imagine in my mind that a second party may be going on in the place where time doesn’t seem to matter all that much. When you’re in the presence of the One who created the world, time probably flies by like it does on the days we enjoy the most here. While I can’t fathom what Haddie would have done in her next 5 years on earth, my mind can”t begin to comprehend what she’s been able to do in her 5 years in heaven. 

Happy Birthday to our 10 year old. Haddie we love and miss you. We will try to have a good day knowing that you’re enjoying another best day ever.