The Legacy

Legacy. That's a big word with an even bigger meaning. When we leave this earth, we leave behind the memories of us. But bigger than memories is the legacy. The impact. I think all people want to be remembered. But beyond just the memories we hope to have made a difference, a change, an influence on this world.

Haddie has done just that. We know that people will not forget her. Partly because of how awesome she was...and partly because we have no intentions of letting that legacy go. God gave us a miracle in Haddie and it wasnt just at her birth...it was her life. She blessed us in so many ways...and so we in turn hope to continue that blessing. You all have helped with that.

The Haddie fund has reached $5000. Thank you to all who contributed! That fund will be combined with another fund at our church and will be used to bless people in the future. Exactly how, we aren't sure yet. Kate and I have been placed on a committee with some other folks at church and we will meet soon to discuss all of that. I will keep you updated as time goes on.

Last week we went to Lifeline of Ohio in Columbus for an event. When Haddie passed they asked if we'd be willing to let her be an organ donor. We felt that would be a good thing to do. They were able to use her eyes, a heart valve, and her ribs to help other kids in need. Because of that, Lifeline of Ohio has honored Haddie by putting a rose in her name on the Lifeline float in the Rose Bowl Parade on New Year's Day. They will also put her name on a memorial outside of their Columbus headquarters. That means a lot to us.

Kate also had a great idea to bless Haddie's classmates. Haddie love kindergarten and they loved her. She made a huge impact at Belpre Elementary. Kate came across a wonderful children's book called "God Gave Us Heaven" by  Lisa Tawn Bergren. It's a wonderful book that explains what heaven is like to kids. And it's not just a fluffy kids version. It does an awesome job of explaining what we actually know about heaven and how we get there. I highly recommend it! Kate decided each kid in Haddie's class should get one. Her teacher, who goes to our church, was cool with that. We were able to take that a step further. She let us come in and read the book during story-time to the kids. Yesterday was amazing. Kate did a fantastic job reading to these children. They made us feel good by commenting on how they missed Haddie. We put her picture on the inside cover in her memory. The kids thanked us and gave us hugs. We walked away feeling full. We are grateful that God has given us this story. We're so glad God gave us heaven.

Live in such a way to leave a legacy. But not just a legacy that is all about you. Make it be a legacy that points people to the love of God. Haddie's whole life was an up arrow. When you looked at her life, you saw God's hand. You saw how he could take something small and make it big. You saw how he could speak through someone without words. You saw Him take someone who couldn't move on their own to move others. The question for us is this...are we doing the same? Are you an up arrow?

What will your legacy be?

How Are You?

"How are you?" Emphasis on "how". Eye brows raised. Look of concern. I can see people asking us that because we've been asked that question a lot. It's not a passing "how are ya". It's not a cliche greeting. It's a sympathy-filled, heart felt, gut wrenching question that people want to know the answer to. And we are glad that people care enough to ask. We know they care.

The answer, however, is complicated. We are a lot of things right now. It's a mixed bag. We are sad and happy at the same time. We are relieved in many ways and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. We are grateful and also in shock. Sometimes we are emotional and other times we are numb. I think anyone who's dealt with loss or grief can relate in some way.

Some folks expect us to be devastated I think. And in a sense you could say we are. But not fully. We actually have a good amount of peace about this. And that comes from a faith in God.

If you'll hang with me for a minute I want to unpack that. This is gonna be a little preachy but it has a point so hang in there. Many folks believe in God. But James is going to say "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." It's not enough just to recognize that there is a God. That's obvious. Demons believe that. What God is looking for is for people to draw near to Him and follow Him. To live for Him and trust Him..even when it all falls apart.

As I've said, Haddie was innocent. I do not believe she had sin on her as a child. Which is good because the Bible tells us that sin is what separates us from God. Maybe you knew that already. Or maybe you're one of the many folks that thinks everyone gets into heaven (except for Hitler, Bin Laden, and the other really bad people) That is simply NOT what God tells us. He says that all have sinned. Romans 6:23-For the wages of sin is death. . That's not just physical death but spiritual. If you die in that condition, you are separated from God for eternity. Being a nice and generous American doesn't pay the penalty. Just going to church occasionally doesn't pay the penalty. Death does. You have to pay the price.

Unless...someone pays it for you. And the only person that can do that is Jesus. God sends His own son who never sinned to pay for your sin. He showed us how to live. And then he showed us his love by dying for us. And here's the awesome part, he doesnt stay dead. He takes the keys of death from Satan and rises. And because of that, we can have a place called heaven. Because of that I know that Haddie is with our risen Savior. My dad is there too.

But the question I have is...how are you? Are you certain you are going there one day? If so, based on what? If it's based on anything other than your faith in Jesus, you might need to rethink that. The Bible spells out that if we believe in Jesus, reenact his death and resurrection through the symbolic act of baptism (Acts 2:38) then we are no longer condemned. We can know for sure where we are going. And Kate and I know for sure where we are going. Not because we deserve it (because we don't). Not because we are super parents (because we aren't), but because of our faith in Jesus.

THAT is how we have peace through this. It's not the end. We are in a win, win situation as my dad believed. 36,000 people read the blog last Tuesday. I want all 36,000 to be in heaven. I doubt that many read this post. Unless maybe you share it. But the question I say to you with all of the love and concern in my heart is this...how are you?

***If you'd ever like to talk about this stuff feel free to reach out to us. We don't have all of the answers. But we'd love to talk about the one answer we do have. God is good.

A Thank You Note

There’s no way to adequately describe the amount of love and support you’ve given to us over the past 6 days and the previous 5 years. When we asked for prayers, you did that. And so much more. Thank you for the calls, texts, cards, the fridge full of food, the house cleaning, the gifts, and all the other ways you showed support. We loved hearing the Haddie stories you had. We’d love to hear more if you have them.  We so appreciate you donating to the Haddie fund (which you can still do by sending a check to the Belpre Church of Christ marked Haddie in the memo)

We love our church family at Belpre and all the other churches that showed us love. That’s what the church is all about. It’s supposed to be a family.

We loved spending time with all of Haddie’s therapists, aids, teachers, and staff from Ewing preschool and Belpre Elementary along with the therapist at Marietta Memorial. We call you friends.

And most of all we thank God. We are grateful for the peace He’s given us during this time. We are so glad that Tuesday wasn’t the end. It was the beginning and one day we will see Haddie again. I’m so glad we serve a God who is good. He made a place called heaven. I’m grateful that through Jesus Kate and I can be there one day. But I’m also grateful that the rest of my life doesn’t have to be tragedy and sadness. Despite the pain of this and the challenges ahead, we have peace. That ONLY comes from Jesus. I pray for you today that you may know that peace. And if you don’t, we’d love to share why and how we have it. My next post will be about how to make sure you’ve got it.

Once again, thank you. God is good.

God is Good, Haddie is Home

I don’t have the words. For five years God has let us be the parents of a beautiful little girl named Hadassah Marie Williams. This morning she went to be with Jesus. Somehow she got herself turned over which she has never done before. Due to her limited mobility she couldn’t get back over. We thought we still had a chance. We did all we could as did the Belpre ER team. But today at 7:15, Haddie walked into the gates of heaven.  She is no longer silent but singing with the angels. She’s not an angel. That’s not how it works. She is beside Jesus and I have to believe she is beside my dad as well. For the first time she stood up and ran. She ran into his arms.

Those of you who choose not to believe...how? I have nothing else in this moment to hang on to. There is a God and He is good. While we work through the next through days months and years there will be tremendous pain. But we rejoice today and cry. We know exactly where she is.

We will let you know the arrangements when we find out. Thank you for praying for our little girl and loving our Haddie. God is good.

The Letter “H”

This all started with the letter H. Tonight it came full circle. If you recall we took Haddie out to Oklahoma to try out an Eye Gaze machine designed for ALS patients. We didn’t know much about eye gaze then. A good Christian man named Steve designed it through Oklahoma Christians Engeneering Department. He said he’d be interested in making a kids version down the road and asked us to fly out and try it out.

So we did. And I wasn’t so sure how well it would go when I saw that keyboard. Definitely not a kids version. But I asked Haddie, “can you spell your name, can you find the H”. It took a couple seconds but that little bubble on the screen moved over to the H...and I knew Haddie knew more than I thought she knew. She could spell. 

We came home and found out that the school actually had an Eye Gaze program called PRC. It was a different machine that was designed for kids. Music, games, activities. It certainly was something we were interested in. We love Steve and how he got us started but we know it will take some time to make that kids version. So we got Haddie a trial with PRC during school. Unfortunately Haddie was sick and in the hospital most of the trial. She showed some promise but just didn’t get to use it much. 

We got the trial extended this summer and got to keep the machine at home. She did well some days on it. She proved that she can use it and ask for certain things. She didn’t do that all the time. Probably because she’s 5. I don’t know a 5 year old that will do what you ask them to on command every time. However in order for us to get the machine we would need to have her therapist write the report that she could actually use it. Otherwise insurance won’t cover it and we’d have to foot the $15,000 bill. 

We believe the therapist can write the report. We need to make a trip to an eye center in Cincinnati to have them take a look. We can take a quick peak a couple other machines and make sure the one she’s using is best. 

All that to tel you this. Tomorrow they have to take back the eye gaze machine. Trials over. Haddie was about half asleep and not doing much on the machine tonight. She was tired from a swim party. I took it to the keyboard I created on it that just has plain letters. I leaned in and said “Haddie, I want you to find the H. There’s 26 letters up there. I want you to show me that you can do this again. Where”a the H?”. 5 seconds later............ “H”. She did it. Kate and I may have shed a tear or two. ..... “H”. She did it again. “Okay Haddie you smart aleck.”

I’m not sure why I’d doubt her. I know she can do it. But sometimes I think I’m dreaming. This non verbal girl is becoming verbal. It’s gonna take time and practice. But it will happen. Even if we have to get $15,000, it’s gonna happen. Every night we ask a God to let Haddie walk, talk, laugh, and smile. Gods allowed her to do those things... in reverse order. She’s smiled. Not long ago it looked like she was even laughing while driving her pink car. And now, she’ll learn to talk. God is amazing. 

She’s enjoying her new sister Selah and has a huge fan in Ansley. If you didn’t see the video of Ansley cheering her on last week you should check that out below. 

As always thanks for the prayers and thinking of Haddie. She continues to show me the power and love of God. H.

Ansley Cheering On Haddie's Eye Gaze